Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Couch. On fire.
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