Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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