She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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