I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
