we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
