last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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