yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
