I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
