Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
