70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
