I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
