I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
