NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
