Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
