i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
