Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
