they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
