..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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