i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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