Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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