and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
