I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
