Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
