I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
