so that wasnt chicken after all
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Randomize
