...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
