You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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