My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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