I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
