nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
