if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
