Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
