I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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