I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
