I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
