Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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