apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
