apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
