just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
