Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
