the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
