We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
