why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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