No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
