He kissed a someone with a penis
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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