Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize