Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
