Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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