Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
