Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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